Monday, December 04, 2006

Topshop Caters To My Intense Lust

I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. I love clothing, accessories and all things unashamedly material (especially the superfluous, expensive kind), however tend to be a miserly tightwad, who only "invests" on "quality" and "timeless" things. I rarely splash out ridiculously or fall inlove with Things. I'm really very sensible, you know, my parents are very proud of me (little do they do about the hundreds I spend on drugs). The advent of internet shopping and e(vil)Bay have changed all this. I am now in possession of (to name just a few) $200 Seduce pants, a $300 Burberry trenchcoat and $100 Ferragamo flats, alongside a teetering stack of books I have yet to read. I also regularly stop by Net-a-fucking-addictive-Porter and Topshop, and monitor-shop (as opposed to window-shop). At these particular sites I have always been relatively safe, being on a pitiful student budget which protests against Derek Lam capelets and Chloe shifts, while Topshop refused to post their delicious high-street items to my country.

Well actually, they do. Topshop has now decided to expand, un-esoteric-ize themselves and ship to England, Ireland, USA and Australia. I rejoice! (Or rather, become extremely anxious and ask friends to hide credit card.) However, two factors still hold me back: the ridiculous exchange rate and the blandness of the currently available items. Here are a few things I may consider donning plastic platforms and pole-dancing in King's Cross for:



Dresses/Onesies



bandage dress by Boutique 65GBP (AUS$163)

batwing sleeve jumpsuit 28GBP (AUS$70)


pocket jersey dress 30GBP (AUS$75)

quilted pinafore dress 30GBP (AUS$75)

Coats



satin swing coat by Boutique 100GBP (AUS$251)

wide neck biker jacket 150GBP (AUS$377)

Wouldn't a satin capelet look fabulous over an all-black skin-tight outfit with ankle boots for night time?

And I would die for this leather jacket in my size.

Bottoms



gold foil legging 18GBP (AUS$45)

high waist button hotpants 28GBP (AUS$70)

metal-fabric corset cropped trouser 40GBP (AUS$100)

mans jeans by Boutique 50GBP (AUS$126)


Accessories



metal heel court shoe 95GBP (AUS$239)

two tone button glove 25GBP (AUS$63)

Both of these items are appropriately femme fatale for me to act arrogant and seductive in. Metal cone heels! Two tone rubber gloves! (Swoons as red lips draw slowly on cigarette-holder end)


To give you an indication of the preposterous nature of the exchange rate, everything in the UK and Australia have parallel prices. So a coffee in Australia would cost AUS$3, which is 1.20GBP, while a coffee in the UK would also cost 3GBP, which is AUS$7.50.

Now look at the prices above.

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Those shoes and gloves make me want to be a bitch and flaunt it

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