Gallery Of The Absurd

I stumbled upon this initially unassuming site, at the bidding of my fabulous pal Joel, called Atelier V. It lists a series of 30 sets of photographs, with accompanying descriptions, that appear to detail cheap, DIY inventions for the creative mind immune to snide titters and bemused stares from strangers and peers alike. It has obviously been made into a book, although any details I could gather were hopelessly unavialable to me as I fail to speak fluent German. However, the intention seems to hover betwix the charming oddity of lazy, starving artist inventiveness, and the reinterpretation of familiar objects through imagination and inspired use.

But trust the Germans to publish such ideas as tennis balls ...

... turned into ear muffs.

Or even the remarkable concept of transforming clothes pegs ...

... into functioning dining aids for the chopsticks-impaired?

I love the surprised amusement one may inspire if a paint brush ...

... were to be bent and used as a door stopper.


And my personal favourite: embarrassing your kids by cutting up an old vacuum-cleaner dust bag ...

... and shoving it onto an ice cream cone to prevent unsightly spills.

Honourable mentions:


One of those whippy-mashy kitchen appliance things (I failed home economics) turned into a cotton wool holder, to be stored besides toothbrushes in a chic little glass.

Still own a pair of goggles from those days of chlorine-laps in primary school? Pop one of the eyes out and, voila! A head rest for long train rides through the city.

Frighteningly Valuable

According to a recent article in The Telegraph (brought to my attention by the inimitable Bag Snob), the oddest items in your jumbled mosh pit of a wardrobe could infact become lucrative money-makers in the future.

Vintage clothing is highly sought after now, if only for their ironic, cheap chic style kudos. However there is a market created by museums and (I imagine rather eccentric) collectors for clothing of bygone eras, which happen to rack up impressive sums. Apparently, if one were to invest in fashion heirlooms for future loaded couture freaks, then ...

"Tame and tasteful never make big returns" says [Anne Hamlyn]. "Go for major statement pieces: big names, preferably couture, and mad."

"And prints: there's something quintessentially 'of its time' about print. These are highly collectable and will be worth alot of money."

She also recommends holding on to 1980's fashion. "It was such an extreme period, but the museums want those designers now: Thierry Mugler, Jean Paul Gaultier - they were very cutting edge. There will be a revival."

I happen to be in possession of alot of 80's shit: mainly 50-cent kitschy, neon-coloured dresses, as well as some red elf boots that manage to inspire either gushing compliments from many girls or alarmed disgust from the majority of ordinary men.

However, I recently discovered these Yves Saint Laurent boots on eBay Australia, presumably from the 80's or thereabouts. Hideous as they are, the combination of curved spike stiletto heels, Victorian costume shape, and ridiculous spot-patterned leather attract me intensely, and seem to be consistent with the quoted expert's advice on such things. A wise investment, or comical monstrosity, do you think? I'm hardly going to be wearing them anywhere, what with my Bambi ankles and inability to function in heels.

Magnetic Glitter Concept

For you creative types at a loss for ideas, take a swipe at Roman Coppola's nifty little ideas generator.


Ideas generated:

Nutritious Inflatable Appliance
Oh yes, a blow-up deck chair with vitamins at the mouthpiece.

Oversized Aquatic Celebration
An Atlantis-themed pool party which gigantic jumping castles!

Jewel-encrusted Foam Sport
Russian tsarina-wannabes competing for carnival-procession title of Float Queen.

Medieval Collapsible Excercise Machine
... Sounds like a torture device (or a sex toy).

Found Objects

A wonderful site, much like Post Secret (although less contrived and emotionally imposing), where photographs, love notes, poetry on ticket stubs and drawings on napkins are sent in and posted as Find Of The Day on Found Magazine's website.

Some are eerie, amusing or even completely incomprehensible. There are even cases where people recognise objects posted as their own!

I found these particularly amusing:

And this one was found beneath a man's windscreen wiper after he went shopping - wouldn't you love to discover this for yourself! (HINT)

18th Century Swingers

Everyone recognises this painting from the Rococo Era (1767, to be exact), by French artist Jean-Honore Fragonard, non? It's a charming, gleefully laughing young lady rollicking on her swing, surrounded by a glittering fairy-tale garden, some onlooking cherubs and two suave admirers. Oh how the sun illuminates her rouged cheeks and brigtens her pretty lace dress - it's a picture of loveliness, personifying romance and happiness and all that wonderful shit!

Well, perhaps I'm the only dim-witted thick head in all of the universe, because I had never noticed that the man spasming in the grass at her feet is in fact looking up her dress! To add more obscenity to this image, it was customary at the time for aristocratic French women to wear no underwear! The shame!

According to evadyne on Everything2.com (a shaky source, I do realise, but who could be bothered researching for the few unappreciative readers I have),

"The Swing was petitioned by a French aristocrat, who needed something for his cabinet (A Cabinet Painting was usually something equivalent to pornography). Most cabinet paintings contained nude or semi-nude women ... [but] The Swing's main component was intrigue.

You see, the woman on the swing is the aristocrat's mistress. The man pushing the swing is a bishop, and the man hiding in the bushes is none other than the patron himself.

The fear of getting caught was somewhat of a turn-on for him, which is thought to be why he wanted her shoe to be kicked off. When the shoe falls off, who is to go find it but the bishop, walking right in the direction of the patron, who is positioned quite strategically, looking directly up her skirt."

How delightfully naughty!

Pseudo-Paedophilia

Overjoyed at recieving my bi-monthly fix of magazine-love from Russh Australia, I opened the glossy, finger print-free cover, only to find the most unsettlingly sexy advertisement I've ever encountered. There, right in front of me, were bare breasts, nipples covered by carefully-positioned denim suspenders, a pre-pubescent redhead donning Lolita sunglasses purring in the direction of sleazy photographer Terry Richardson, reflected shirtless in the mirror behind her.

How did this display of soft-core porn courtesy of Lee Jeans get past the tight-arsed Australian Advertising Standards Board? As reported by The Age, apparently

"...the woman is over 18, is fully clothed in attire that is fashionable amongst young women for summer, and that there is no nudity"

I'd say she was quite nude if you asked me, but nobody did so I should shut up. However, does anyone really wear shorts with braces and nothing else? I'd like to meet them and avoid looking like I'm avoiding looking at their tits.

"The board also [notes] that consumption of this style of lollipop is now common amongst people over 18"

If they have a Peter Pan Complex, perhaps. Or are ravers.

More porn from Terry Richardson for Lee Jeans:

Model Behaviour

Yesterday I opened my regular newsletter from fashion.psfk, only to discover an intriguing headline: Guerilla Modelling. This story described the exloits of model Elle Muliarchyk, who, in trying to break free from the creative constraints and passivity of modelling, began to visit the most expensive designer boutiques, and changed into beautiful, worth-more-than-your-car dresses, bringing with her such strange props as a 300-year old mirror, a 6-foot stuffed panda or a giant King Kong hand without rousing shop assistant's suspicions. Often she is gone, snapping away inside her cubicle, for lengthy periods of time, and when she is discovered there are all kinds of bizarre explanations people invent for her behaviour, at one point eventually leading to her arrest.

There is something oddly touching about these hasty, spontaneous works of art. The risks she has taken and the creative medium seem to raise her work to almost glorious heights, embodying to me what contemporary art aspires to. And it really is a marvel how professional some photographs look, the King Kong one especially having the suspension-of-belief qualities of digital imaging, while others look so home-made and mundane that one feels there beside her, taking self-indulgent pictures in countless familiar changing rooms.

Egon Schiele

Austrain Expressionist painter in the early 1900's. Often in trouble with authorities and fellow human beings for his bohemian lifestyle, hiring of young girls for nude modelling, and creating erotic art works. Died in 1918 when only 28 years old of the Spanish flu.

Electric Blue

It has such a striking vibrancy. It's a mature, snooty colour on cocaine. I'll soon get over it.